I see you. Are you like me and have found yourself saying, I can manage this on my own?
The inability to receive support from others is a trauma response. Your “I don’t need anyone, I’ll just do it all myself” conditioning is a survival tactic.
I have trust issues, I always have. I’m very honest in the discussion of myself. I’m forever working on me.
I honestly don’t remember a time as a child, that I could trust someone enough to confide in them. My trust issues have dissipated, but they linger and surface here and there. Tom changed me as soon as he came along, since he lovingly coaxed me into trusting him. So, by the time I met Bill, I was a different person.
People saw me and thought that I was shy and quiet as a teen, and I was neither. I was an abused, scared person. The mental and emotional torture I lived with, in my childhood, had me nearly silent a majority of the time. And when physical abuse happened, I nearly disappeared as a person, diving further inward. Thank goodness I had a boyfriend who could relate. That guy listened and agreed with me that I deserved a better life.
Do you need to shield your heart from past abuse, neglect, betrayal, and disappointment from those who could not or would not be there for you?
Do you have issues stemming from a parent who was absent and abandoned you by choice or the parent who was home and secluded within their bedroom?
The phrase, “I got you”, changed my entire life. When Tom said that phrase to me, it made me feel safety like I’d never known.
Have you dealt with lies and betrayals? Over time you realized that you could trust people, but only up to a certain point?
Extreme-independence is a trust issue.
You may have been intentionally taught this protection strategy by generations of broken family members who came before you. Extreme independence is a preemptive strike against heartbreak.
Impenetrable. Nothing gets in. No hurt gets in. But no love gets in either. Fortresses and armor are for those in battle, or who believe the battle is coming. You can let people in.
I see you, living a trauma response. I got you, and I can relate.
I’m here if you need a shoulder. I’m a great listener.
I see you.
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